Collective blame

I am utterly disgusted. Ridiculously angry. I haven't been so furious in a long time. I'm angry at myself and I'm angry at the world.

A student of mine pulled a knife on two other students in a neighboring classroom yesterday.

I know this student. She is a sweetheart. Quiet and never caused any trouble before. Out of all my students, she would be one of the least likely candidates to be brandishing a knife with the intent to kill. I am shocked numb.

But my mind tells me I shouldn't be surprised. Things like this CAN happen. She was sick and tired of being teased because one of her arms was smaller and misshapened. She was defending herself against the bullying of two nitwit imbeciles who did not hesitate to throw verbal daggers at her, pushing her past the breaking point. Couple the agony with the pain of a household in discord. Little wonder she came packing a knife to defend herself--the frustration of a cornered victim, with plenty of anger, nowhere to run, nowhere to release it.

The dam burst.

And I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything to stop this. I didn't NOTICE. She was being BULLIED and I just let it be the case, being my cynical, smug self.

She was immediately apprehended, the knife pried from her hands, replaced by handcuffs. Escorted to the police precinct, treated like a common criminal.

And the tragedy is that it didn't have to be this way. If someone just acted, someone just said anything, she would be right here in my classroom this afternoon, listening earnestly as usual.

But no one did.

How am I supposed to go to sleep?